SPEAKER_02 0:03

Welcome to the success of the challenge. We don't just build homes building. Custom home builder and coach. Each week I see up builders and entrepreneurs ready to mix their business, their health, and their mindset. This is where blueprints become breakthrough. Let's get to work. Welcome back to The Success Architect. I'm Jake Lewendall, your host, and today I have a very good friend of mine. He's also a coach of mine. His name is Ken Adams. And he works with Upgrade. He's going to give a little bit of background on everything that he's done in his life. I'm sure he'll make it really quick and talk about where he's currently at. And then I'm going to give you a little tidbit about what we're going to talk about today. It's going to be a great time. Thank you so much for being here today, Ken. We really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Yeah, of course. Happy to be here. Good.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

I sure try. I sure try. So give us a uh just a little snippet of your history, what you study and coach now, because that's what we're going to talk about today.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Um back in 2019, I was an educator, a curriculum designer for about 60,000 people learning languages. And at the same time as figuring that out, uh, my wife also had some serious separation anxiety. And what I learned at my job is if I wanted to help these language learners improve, I had to help them get rid of anxiety. So I had two reasons to, in I mean, in my life where I could, you know, figure out how to release anxiety from someone's life. And I came across a training. And in this training, uh, I was trained on how to use tools like neurolinguistic programming, timeline therapy, hypnosis to release negative emotions, to release anxiety. And I brought my wife to it and everything. She was part of it. And finally we got to releasing her anxiety, and she released it. And she had had separation anxiety since she was five. And it didn't take that long and it wasn't that difficult. So I was sitting there and I thought, holy cow, like I could use this. I could definitely use this. And a lot of people could use this. You know, just imagine living every day, not being able to make decisions out of fear. And with someone for someone that has anxiety, that's really a big struggle. Now I decided right there, I was like, okay, this is either completely crazy or it works. But I just saw it work, so now I'm gonna master it. So I spent the last, you know, six to seven years mastering the skills. Um, I work at as an executive at a company called Upgrade. We specialize in helping investors, multimillionaires, ambitious entrepreneurs, family office owners to get over the blocks they have from having success, from being able to create what they want. And so uh over the last three years, I take on some high-profile clients, I help them remove their blocks, I help them create reality how they want it. I mean, even when it gets down to it, people ask me, like, what do you do? I mean, for you, Jake, you're a success architect on the show. I'm a reality architect.

unknown 3:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

So I look at reality and I say, What do you want? How do you want reality to be? And then we formulate your identity, your decision-making skills, and your perception and model of the world to then have reality respond to what you believe it is. So that's that's a short introduction.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

That's amazing. That's amazing. Well, I think a lot of us could use that. And uh, like I said, Ken is a personal coach of mine. We've worked together probably for almost two years now in various capacities, and it's absolutely changed my life. Um, you know, it it depends who you are. Some people I think it's a really fast process, some people it takes a little more. Um, maybe I'm really stubborn. It seems like it's taking me a little time to move past all these things, but there's been some massive changes in my life, which is exactly why I wanted to have you on today. Um something, something that goes along with the anxiety you talked about, and something that I have struggled with is having something to prove. And that seems like uh a common theme in people who are looking for success, high performers, people looking to grow in their life. So I mean, today what I want to talk to you about is in business, relationships, health, your entire life, having something to prove is a massive thing that holds people back. But I want to talk about exactly why. So, can you give me maybe a two-minute, just high, high-level idea of how having something to prove relates to exactly what you talked about with mindset, understanding anxiety, and moving past these things holding us back?

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Yeah, having something to prove means you haven't proved it yet.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

And therefore you have to relive it over and over and over until you give yourself permission to know that you've proved it.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

And so when when people, like for example, you know, let's talk about this word success. How do you define the word success, Jake, for you?

SPEAKER_02 5:55

I actually did an entire episode on this, so it's really long. But for me, it's it's finding success is finding the purpose and exactly what I want in every different division of life: health, relationships, money. I want to have it all, and I want to have the things I want within that realm.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Yes. Okay, so then the assumption there by what you said is that you don't have it yet.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

That's exactly correct. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

All right. So that's typically when people think of success, they're not thinking of what they currently have, they're thinking thinking of what they want in the future, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:38

Yes, which means lack of, correct?

SPEAKER_00 6:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

So when people are going about getting success, and it's typically, you know, I could I could ask, like, why do you want some of these things? Why do you want your relationship to be where you want it? Why do you want your family to be where you want it? Why do you want wealth to be where you want it? And a lot of times people will say, you know, it's usually attached to a certain feeling. Like, I want to have peace in my life, or I want to know that I was good enough. I want to know that I'm successful. I want to know that uh I could do it, that I was capable. I want to know that I was smart enough. Right? See, this these are the things that people are proving to themselves over and over as they go about getting success. And so what happens is the game of success becomes not the game of success, it becomes the game of proving yourself. And if you actually, if if you really thought about it and you think about motivation, if you actually proved yourself to be good enough, you might lose all your motivation and drive.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

I'll get to that. Like there's higher ways of having motivation and drive. You just have to be able to shift that in your mind. So it think of it like this it's like dangling a carrot in front of you, like or a carrot in front of a horse.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 7:59

You dangle it in front of the horse, it's gonna keep walking, but you can't actually let it have the carrot, or else it stops walking.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

So all the things that you're trying to prove to yourself are giving you drive and momentum to go forward. But at some point, some of the things that you're proving to yourself don't need to be proved.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Got it. Okay, so what if I tell you, like, all right, I I have a lot of ambition, the success architect, right? And I can tell myself all day long I I have this or I want this, um, or I can write down uh you know, 30 times, I have this thing. That's me consciously saying, I have this thing. Why don't I have it yet?

SPEAKER_00 8:47

Yeah. So one time someone came to me and he told me he's uh six million dollars in debt. And I looked at him and I said, How's that a problem? Now, most people would be like, That's a huge problem. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Sounds terrible, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:04

But if you if you talk to a billionaire, that's not a problem, is it?

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Correct, not a problem at all.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

Right? Like six billion, six million in debt to a billionaire, it's like, oh yeah, I just uh need to pay off the credit card.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

Yeah, it's a normal debt.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Like it's not an issue at all. So I asked him. Anyway, I went through a bunch of questions, and no, he's not a billionaire, so he did see it as a big problem. Okay, but he wants to be a billionaire. He wants to be. Now, I I asked him some more questions, and he said this. He says, The problem is that I am over-leveraging myself. Now, think about that statement. And if you know, if you know me, you know I'm highly intuitive on linguistics. I will dissect linguistics, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

So he says, I am over-leveraging myself. So I look at the statement and I say, Who is I and who is self? Who is doing the over-leveraging? Yeah, and who is being over-leveraged? And so he answered the question. He said, The one doing the over-leveraging is the billionaire of me. Like I want to be a billionaire. The one that is being over-leveraged is a poor kid from a coal mine, coal mining town.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

And I said, That's why you're six million dollars in debt. What happens if you leverage a poor kid in a coal mining town?

SPEAKER_02 10:22

That's not gonna work. You have two different identities competing here, two different identities competing.

SPEAKER_00 10:29

So he was still living in the identity of a poor kid from a coal mining town while trying to be a billionaire.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

And that doesn't work. So I told him, I said, What if you were born a billionaire in a coal mining town? You just didn't know it yet.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 10:47

Right now, that started shifting things. In fact, I spoke to him yesterday, and apparently he just gained 10% in a construction products company that uh is gonna revolutionize how foundations are made.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

And AI data centers are now wanting to throw $50 million in contracts at him.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

There you go.

SPEAKER_00 11:08

Just by shifting a little bit in his identity, not having to prove anything anymore. In fact, he told me, he's like, the big shift right before that is I felt like I just didn't care about other people's opinions or what I had to do or what I needed to do. Didn't need to prove himself anymore. Didn't need to prove anything, and then all of a sudden I got all these opportunities.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

Yep. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

I'm like, yes, because you can experience a different level of reality.

SPEAKER_02 11:35

That's amazing. Okay, so let's come back to that. Let's um moving toward identity shifting is is uh not exactly elementary. So for listeners who are who are here saying, Hey, I've been working really, really hard. I have I have ambition, um, but maybe that ambition, like this guy in in one piece of his identity, was rooted in deficiency or lack. And so you're trying, and and I know what you and I have talked about in the past, Ken, is the hero's journey. And unfortunately, in our society, movies, books, like people love the hero's journey, right? It makes you feel good. Like fairy tales are built upon it. So we've learned this. So there's a lot of listeners who are probably sitting here saying, I work super hard and I I I write my stuff down, I journal about it, and I know what I want, but I'm not getting it. So help help us understand where working hard can get you, and then what happens once you hit that glass ceiling from working hard, and and how do you move past that? And and give us the you know, just just the tidbit version of that, and then we'll move on from there.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Now, one thing you have to understand that heroes are very unproductive. So true. Yeah, but it is, right? It's like, what is the goal? Why do people want to be heroes? Uh, usually it's because they want to be liked by other people, they want to feel important, they want to feel necessary, they want to have belonging, they want uh money, they want adoration, they want fame, they want those things, right? By being a hero. Sounds like now when you get to hard work, this is, you know, probably a lot of your listeners, most likely a good chunk of them, just knowing you, were, you know, they had dads that valued, you know, get out in the yard, get to work, pick up the tool, get the stuff done. And that's how they found a way of belonging inside of their family. That's how they found approval from their father. So is it really working hard to get results, or is it working hard to get belonging and approval? And I think that a lot of people are working hard for belonging and approval. Now, what happens is this you'll get someone who has worked really hard and they're kind of capping out at the results they can get.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

And let's just say they have between seven and twelve employees.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:23

They have done, you know, maybe up to five million in revenue in the year, maybe up to 10, depending on how efficient they are. And then they just kind of cap out right there.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

And then all of a sudden the money starts disappearing, and they they feel like they're going backwards. It was right at the point where they're like, oh my gosh, I have all this money. I'm about to go to a next level. I'm going to be free. I can do what I want. I can travel. I can, and then all of a sudden they restart the cycle.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

So they start making subconscious decisions that put them back to what they're used to, which is working hard. Because if they stopped working hard, they would stop belonging. If they stop belonging, they'd be sad. They wouldn't have approval from others. And if if they're not belonging, they're sad about themselves. They don't feel like they're good enough to be part of anything. They may not feel like they've earned success. And so, what people need to learn how to do is to not care about being important, being needed. If they want to get the results that they want to, they need to be able to play the game of getting results, not the game of proving themselves.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

Wow. Okay. That hit that hits home hard. Um uh hits home hard for me, and I'm assuming a lot of other people. Um, I mean, you you nailed it with like my dad being a hard worker, and for me wanting to prove to him um my worth, essentially. And it seems that the more that I try to prove myself, whether it's to my dad or the world or anything like that, the more I'm handing my power to someone else unconsciously. And it it seems that what you're saying, if I'm hearing you right, true power comes when the scoreboard is internal instead of external.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Oh, for sure. And and sometimes it's not even a scoreboard. Sometimes the scoreboard is just in the business.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Yep. You know, yep.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

It's just like, let's just look at the spreadsheet and have no emotion about it and just make good decisions, you know. Like most people can't look at numbers in their business and feel good, feel just neutral.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

You can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 16:42

100%.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

It's like, you know, you see a number go up and you get excited, you see it go down, you're like, oh crap, what's going on?

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

You know, then a tax bill comes in. It's like, oh no, you know, like there's all these reactions. The place you want to get to is you want to look at your business just like, all right, now I know what to do. Then the data's telling me how to act, how to move, and make decisions like that. Now the data doesn't tell you everything you need to do, right? Because you don't need to prove anything in the data either. No, you can set goals that are beyond the data and then just get the data to tell you if you're on track or not. You can play life like a video game. You know, like, you know, you see people playing video games. It's they don't have their father in the back of their head, I need to be good enough for my dad to win this album. They're just like playing the game. They're just playing the game. And I think sometimes we overcomplicate business that people are playing the game of proving themselves or feeling good enough. But instead, they need to just play the game of business. Just be like, do I have the right people in the right seats? Do I have good systems? Am I installing these systems? Let's see if I can bump this number up by another 3% or 5% or 20% every month. Let's see what happens if I push that boundary. Let's just keep going.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Right? You can conquer the next business thing. It's not about your identity at all. It's just having fun. You know, a lot of people can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

100%. No, that is very true. Okay. Uh, before moving to kind of the next piece of that puzzle, you mentioned all you mentioned the data. Talk about, you know, financials are people in the right seats, are they following the systems, all of this stuff? What if I told you, hey, yes, like I want to have all that stuff, but I also want to have the right culture for people. And I want to make sure people enjoy working here, have fun, we do all this stuff. How does that go into what you just said? How does that play into the video game?

SPEAKER_00 18:41

Yeah, absolutely. So, your your business culture, if you're the business owner, the business culture is a reflection of your unconscious mind.

unknown 18:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

So basically, um, how your employees show up, how they perform, what are the thoughts that go on in their heads while you're away? What are their emotions? What are their motivations? What are their drivers? That's all a reflection of what you're communicating consciously and mostly unconsciously to the business.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

So when you want to establish a good culture, the best way to make a great culture as a leader is to upgrade what's happening in the background of your mind. So if you are, let me let me give it like really simple, okay? So let's say something in the back of your mind is I need to be important, I need to be good enough, right? And that's going in the back of the mind. And maybe you're not even aware that that's happening.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

But it's driving you.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

And then you go and do a hire and you hire someone. You're gonna hire someone that is probably not the level of talent that you wish you had if they're doing a similar job to you. Because if they were better than you, then you wouldn't be good enough.

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

And so then the culture is established just basically right there on the hire anyway. And that person's gonna feel behind to you. And they're gonna be like, Am I doing enough? Am I good enough? Is this gonna happen? Is it am I, you know, what can I prove to myself? And then that gets compounded over every single hire, and then it's validated by the way you actually communicate and lead to people. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Okay. So now help the listeners. Uh maybe I'm going backwards, maybe I'm going forwards here. We're talking a lot about conscious and unconscious. Can you talk in layman's terms to help people understand how the unconscious and the conscious work in our lives?

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Oh, yeah, sure. So science will say this 95% of your behaviors are unconscious to you.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

98% of your decisions are unconscious to you. And I would say close to 100% of your emotions are unconscious to you. That's what that means is most of your life is being ran automatically. Right? You're not even aware of what you're doing. You can think of what are all the habits that you do that you don't even think about. Even if you try and change them, it's like, I can't even change this. You know, I pass a cookie, eat the cookie.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

You know, like that's that's one of those things, right? Pass a cookie, eat a cookie. Those are things like that that people are like, oh, I don't even know how to stop this or how to change that. That's because the show is being run by the unconscious mind. Very simple example, and I'll stick to business, right? Your conscious mind is like the CEO of a company. All right. The unconscious mind is the entire organization. So let's say it's Google, right? Your conscious mind is like the CEO of Google, and more accurately, your unconscious Mind is the whole organization of Google. So in the unconscious mind, there are databases, there's information that's stored, there are systems, which are like your habits, your unconscious behaviors, um, your thought processes, your emotions that just come up and you don't know how to control. There are, you could say, you know, in that company like Google, there's employees. What's in your unconscious mind, instead of employees, you have beliefs. You have things that you think is reality. You have a structure of what's true and what's not true. And those things serve you in certain ways. So they'll create results so that you know what reality is. I mean, have you ever met someone that's like they believe something about reality? No, for example, the great, great example here is you'll talk to a girl that just keeps dating the worst person ever. And it's like she breaks up with one guy, dates another guy, same story, and just repeats it over and over and over. Well, that's because she probably sees reality as full of bad guys and that she doesn't deserve better. So when she makes those decisions to reaffirm like self-fulfilling prophecy, those are like the employees that you have in your mind, or all those beliefs that make sure everything repeats over and over and over. So the conscious mind, what it does is it needs to lead the unconscious. It needs to say, I don't like this employee. I'm gonna fire it. Right? It needs to say, I need data from the database. How do you get me that information? That's what we call having a brilliant idea, getting clarity. It seems to come out of nowhere, right?

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

The young the conscious mind needs to set a strategy, it needs to set a vision, a plan, create goals so that the unconscious mind goes, Oh, that's what you want. That's how we should serve you. And the unconscious mind will communicate to the conscious mind with emotions. That's like when employees come up and they're like, Hey, you need to understand this about the business right now. You got to listen. Those are emotions. And the conscious mind can respond back by evaluating those emotions and understanding what's causing the problem and helping the whole system move on. So it's very much like a business organization between the conscious and the unconscious.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

The conscious mind is only aware of a little bit of things, got it, but the unconscious mind is aware of just about everything.

SPEAKER_02 24:29

Got it. Kind of like Google. So this is like this is an operating system that is running in the background and defining everything we do. And so the only way to change the outcome is to change the operating system.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

Got it. Okay. If you feel it's appropriate, one one uh metaphor that I love that we've talked about in the past is the toothpicks metaphor. It's it's a little different than the business, but can you explain that one just because I think it's fun and it gives a great visual for how the unconscious uh filters slash the conscious filters and how those two work together.

SPEAKER_00 25:12

Oh, yeah, for sure. So let me put it this way: there is infinite amount of information coming at you all of the time. Right? Like you're you're just sitting there, there's a color of a wall behind you, there's a temperature, there's possibly small insects in the room. You know, there's there's all kinds of stuff just happening all the time. There's stuff in the air, there's information that the body needs to know, like the air you're breathing in, what's inside of it, you're metabolizing food. All of that is data that is happening and needs to be understood by the body.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

The unconscious mind receives that data, it receives 11 million bits of information a second.

SPEAKER_01 25:56

Right.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

And the conscious mind can only be aware of 126 bits. So let's talk about toothpicks, right? Imagine, right? Imagine if you know you all of a sudden just could pay attention to everything consciously like the unconscious mind can.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

11 million pieces of information.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

It would be just extremely scary. Yeah, it would be so much so overwhelming.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

Like, for example, if I'm like, okay, I've got 11 million toothpicks I'm gonna hand you. I'd need a dump truck, most likely, and I would just dump it on you every second of the day.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

And that would suck.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

That would suck. You would probably respond and be like, hey, do you have any toothpicks made out of platinum? Because I just want those ones.

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Yeah, just just give me the couple, just give me 126 of them.

SPEAKER_00 26:47

Just give me 126 platinum toothpicks every second. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

That's all I want. Well, then the conscious mind can filter down all that information to then only focus on exactly what is wanted.

SPEAKER_02 27:01

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 27:02

And then in that way, you start getting, you know, slowly compiling stacks of platinum toothpicks rather than being aware of all these useless toothpicks that are all around you. So by focusing your mind, you can then say, present to me the data that is most necessary to my goals. If if the goal is to prove yourself, you're gonna get worthless toothpicks.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

If the goal is to grow your business to a certain amount, lead your people so that they grow too, to automate the business so you can exit it, then you'll get those toothpicks. You'll get that information coming your way. So if it seems like you're stuck and you're running this cycle and you're looping in it, you make money, you lose money. You work hard, you take a vacation to then work hard again. You get a sale, the money barely lasts, you gotta do it again. Then what's happening is you're getting worthless toothpicks. You're proving yourself.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

So you have to refocus and focus on something that's going to advance you.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Got it. Um, okay, very simple concept, just so people understand before we move on. Does my understanding is the unconscious does not hear negatives. So when I'm telling myself, like I don't have to prove myself, all my unconscious is hearing is I have to prove myself. And this is where the linguistics get very important for an individual and and and the self-talk, like there's right, there's a lot of there's a lot of discussion these days around self-talk and how you know I probably talk way worse to myself in my head than I ever would a friend or even my worst worst enemy, right? And so how does the negative how does that work with the negatives? And how would you change up the linguistics properly?

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yeah, like if I said don't think about the gas prices right now.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

Yeah, instantly happens. Gas prices, they're double. Boo, right?

SPEAKER_00 29:13

Yeah, it's like, oh my gosh, the gas prices. Or I say, don't think about the Iran war, or don't think about politics, or don't don't think about how stressed you are. Like, all those things are just gonna bring up the things you you don't want to be focused on. It's actually gonna focus you on that.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

So people people go throughout life, they're like, okay, don't quit, don't quit. And they're just thinking about quitting the whole time. Or they say, Don't mess it up, don't mess it up, and then they just mess it up. Like, okay, I'm gonna have this, I'm gonna talk to this person and close a deal and be like, don't don't mess this deal up, and then they mess the deal up. Like, they just have that self-talk. So you have to learn how to lead yourself. You have to learn how to lead your thoughts. It's just like in the business, right? If you go to one of your employees and you say, Don't F it up this time, yep. All right, they're gonna be like, How about you tell me what to do instead of what not to do?

SPEAKER_02 30:12

100%, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

And so, in in your communication to yourself, if you catch that where you're saying, like, don't do this, you gotta think instead, what do I do instead? What's actually the positive action that I do instead?

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

And this helps tremendously with my kids. So, for example, if you know, I have five kids and sometimes they tease each other, and I'll be like, Hey, don't do that. They might stop for a second, but then they'll just continue three seconds later.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

100%.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

But if I say, if I say go outside and jump on the trampoline, then they'll do that without even needing to think about stopping.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

So the communication to yourself and to the people in your business, you have to learn how to direct them with positive action.

unknown 31:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

And direct yourself to be like, okay, if I'm not gonna lose a deal, what do I do instead?

SPEAKER_02 31:07

Okay, I'm gonna win a deal.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

I need to pay attention, I need to ask great questions. I'm gonna get really curious. I want to listen to what they have to say, and then I'm gonna show them without a doubt, not even that, with faith, right? Yes, with full confidence, what to do next, right?

SPEAKER_02 31:25

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

That will help the thinking process so that you move through life focused on what you want, not what you don't want.

SPEAKER_02 31:33

Beautiful, beautiful. Okay, that's amazing. Um, all right. Can you this this can go on for probably two hours? So can we take like five minutes? Can you help describe the actual quantum physics or the quantum mechanics behind how the unconscious works? I mean, I think you've told me before how it works down to like the atom level, right? Um can you give us layman's terms, really quick understanding of that?

SPEAKER_00 32:07

For sure, for sure. I mean, this goes back to everything we said before, like the toothpicks and being the CEO and all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

In quantum physics, the reason why quantum physics is really important is because of one concept. It's called superposition. Superposition instead of binary thinking, binary thinking is plus or minus, one or zero. It's either this or it's that.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Okay, right.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Quantum thinking is it can be this and that and not that, but still this and not this and not that, all at the same time.

SPEAKER_02 32:46

So an unlimited possibility is that is that what I'm hearing?

SPEAKER_00 32:50

It's it basically superposition means there's infinite possibilities.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

Got it, got it.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

So in quantum physics, they look at reality as there are infinite possibilities that exist in energy and thought form. Okay, okay, so that's quantum physics. Newtonian physics is now that matter has materialized, this is how it functions. So this is how it actually works. You create in anything that's material and physical in your life had to start as a thought form.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Right? Easy example, having a baby, right? Like, hey, I want to have a baby, and then it starts in thought form, then it becomes physical.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 33:39

Right? That's a very easy example to understand. So in quantum physics, what happens is this your thoughts become things, the energy of your thoughts becomes what you experience in life.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 33:51

So in a quantum physics level, you have to understand the situation that you're in is not because of the past, it's because you've decided that is the possibility you deserve.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

Oh, wow. Okay. Talk about the word deserve really quick before you move on. How you know, how does that work? I mean, you said I have now decided that that's the possibility I deserve. How do I expand my mind beyond that or or stop thinking about what I deserve? I mean, that's kind of what we're talking about here, proving yourself worth all that stuff.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

Yeah, and I use that word because a lot of you know, we're talking about proving ourselves right now.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

100%.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

It in a deeper core is I get the reality that I say is reality.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:43

This is reality to me. That's what I experience in quantum physics.

SPEAKER_02 34:47

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

Now, the reason why I say the word deserve is because that's how most people function. They go, I get the reality that I deserve. Because let me let me put it this way. If you all of a sudden you go, you know what, I'm gonna triple my business revenue today, right? Yep, there'd be all these thoughts that would be like, uh, that's fantasy. That's probably not gonna happen. And have you done the work? Have you earned it? Yeah, if you really set up the business, do you really know the people and all that kind of stuff? And so then the mind is already going to a spot that's like, oh, you haven't earned it yet. You don't deserve that reality.

SPEAKER_02 35:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Now, hypothetically, if you're able to in a quantum mentality and you're able to access the quantum, hypothetically, what can happen is if you convince your mind that that is actually reality, then an opportunity should show up. Now, I'm not saying that it'll happen that day. The opportunity might show up that day, but the tripling of your business might not happen that day. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

It would just be I want to experience this reality instead of this one. And my past experience is not a predictor of my future experience. If you can get there, then you can become more flexible in your thinking and you can decide goals that you thought you couldn't decide before.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

And by getting rid of the past, that probably alleviates the question of deserving or not. Deserving is probably based on past experience, correct?

SPEAKER_00 36:20

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Right? It's like there's there's conditioning that you had growing up of when when you deserve to get a reward.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

Yes. Honorable.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

You had conditioning when you deserve to be free, when you deserve to have money, when you deserve to have love. All of those things need to be resolved if someone wants to go fast.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 36:42

They have to say, I don't need permission for any of those things.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

Yes. Beautiful. Okay. So to finish that portion out with the actual like quantum physics, is you're saying moving, moving away from the past, moving into reality, and possibility is what we're talking about. Because quantum physics is literally down to the atom level possibility. And when we can build when we can build that into our mindset, that that decides our future.

SPEAKER_00 37:18

Oh, yes. The possibilities you decide to be real are the ones that you will experience.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Amazing. Amazing.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

That's as simple as I can put it. And if someone is saying, I'm living the possibility that I'm not good enough, they will experience that over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_02 37:38

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

And that's why you have to learn how to have nothing to prove.

SPEAKER_02 37:42

Got it. So if uh let's say I'm stuck in the past and and not deserving, and I go into a business meeting, I'm making a pitch to an investor, let's say, and I've got this lack of possibility, lack of deserving stuck in my head. How is that like give us some examples of how that's actually going to manifest? Because people might be like, like, what are you talking about? Like, I can overcome this deserving, and I can just, you know, crush my sales pitch. But like, like you said, the unconscious runs 95%, uh 98%, 100% of emotions. Are there physical and emotional things that are gonna show up that might taint that pitch and lead you back toward what you've already decided as the possibility? Like what are examples of those things?

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Yeah, excellent question. When when someone is doing that, let's take that example of doing the pitch. And they have running in their head, it's like, oh, do I deserve this sale? Do I deserve this money? Am I good enough?

SPEAKER_02 38:54

Right.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

Their intonation is gonna become more doubtful.

SPEAKER_02 38:57

Yes, got it.

SPEAKER_00 38:58

So people listening to that are gonna hear doubt of the voice. They're also gonna be more of a people pleaser. They're trying to placate to what other people want rather than speaking in authority and confidence. Or on the flip side, they're gonna be very demanding. So they're gonna be maybe too controlling and too demanding.

unknown 39:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

Because it could be if I'm gonna get what I want, even though I deserve it, don't deserve it, I need to convince other people forcefully to give me what I want. Now, neither of those situations consistently lead to a successful sale.

SPEAKER_02 39:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

And so if you step into that with that attitude, your physiology, the way you stand, the way you move, the way you act, is gonna show someone they don't want to do business with.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 39:46

Your intonality, so your intonation, right? Your tonality is going to show that you doubt yourself. And people will feel that. The message that you deliver will lack clarity. Because as you're delivering that message to those people, it's not you're gonna make sure it is subconscious level, it's not gonna land.

SPEAKER_02 40:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

So then at the end, it's like, oh my gosh, I did this pitch, oh, it didn't work out. And then that narrative inside of the head kicks up and it says, Well, maybe I'm not good enough for this. And then it leads to, okay, I need to do better, I need to be better. Now you're now creates a drive and a motivation to then do it better the next time.

SPEAKER_02 40:29

Got it, got it. And now you're on this like visit vicious cycle, right?

SPEAKER_00 40:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

So I mean, many people say this in different words, but there's a paradox here that's pretty simple when you break it down, right? The less you need the outcome, the more likely you are to get it.

SPEAKER_00 40:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 40:51

Yes, okay. Um and and and the way that I'm hearing it, if we take it down to the quantum physics, is that it's not because I don't care about getting the thing, but it's because of that past possibility or lack is contaminating the energy with desperation or undeserving or whatever that thing is. Because we've lived at this moment we're living in the past, and that is the only possibility that is running in the operating system.

SPEAKER_00 41:30

Yep, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 41:32

Okay, so if we were to leave the listeners with a simple exercise or a discussion on how to get them moving away from the past, moving into the present reality, and present possibility. What can we do for our listeners to help them start that process now?

SPEAKER_00 42:01

So there's two things that I would recommend. One is that you need to become aware of that chatter that's going on in the background. You need to become aware of the emotions that are there.

SPEAKER_02 42:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

So the thing that I would have someone do is I would have them sit in a room without anything that could distract them. Right? No tablets, no phones, no computers, no TVs, no suites, no treats. Um, you know, maybe you have a notebook. Maybe, maybe not even anything at all, not even a book. And I just want you to sit there for two hours with nothing to do, just stare at the wall. You're gonna find out all of the chatter that's going on in the background of your mind when you just put everything on pause and just do it at an inconvenient time. More inconvenient the better, actually. Because then you'll get all these thoughts that come up. It's like, if I don't do this, then this. If I don't get up now, then this. If I don't do this, they will say this, they will feel this way, and then if they feel this way, then I have to do this. You'll notice all the background chatter got it in the mind.

SPEAKER_02 43:16

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

Okay, and it it will be overwhelming, actually. So I I'd be surprised if any of you do two hours.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

Yeah, that sounds excruciating. I actually haven't done that. Yeah. Now I'm now I'm gonna go try it. That's like now I'm gonna have like a competition to do the two hours.

SPEAKER_00 43:32

I figured you would. Now, the second thing that I would say is this I would look at your life and say, What if I created an alternate reality? You know, for example, Kobe Bryant did it. He he created Black Mamba, he was having a rough time in his career. And he met with a success coach. Okay, and the guy told him, he said, You need a different identity to operate out of. And he created Black Mamba. And it was only a few months later that he scored 81 points in a basketball game. Wow. So he created that different reality of I'm going to approach life in a completely identity. A completely different identity in a different way, right?

SPEAKER_01 44:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:19

So the next thing would be is to say if I were the person to get everything that I wanted, who is that person?

SPEAKER_02 44:28

I got it.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

And then you start deciding, you go, I'm going to show up as that person. So those are the two things that get him started on.

SPEAKER_02 44:37

I got it.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

And uh I'd be curious, maybe you should, you know, email or message Jake if you do that room exercise that I gave you. What's all the chatter that came up? What happened? What crossed through your mind? And then I'd be interested, you know, what are what's that identity that has it all? Who's that person that doesn't have to try, that doesn't have to prove. They just execute, they just make decisions.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 45:01

I'd be curious who that is.

SPEAKER_02 45:03

Oh my gosh. That's amazing. That's amazing. Okay, that's that's actually way simpler than what I thought you were gonna say. Um, and after all the work that you and I have done, I'll probably still go do that exercise just just because the two hours actually sounds difficult.

SPEAKER_00 45:24

It sounds difficult. I mean, what I'm requiring everyone to do is actually listen to their what's going on in their head.

SPEAKER_02 45:31

Right.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

And actually, pay attention to the emotions. And most people don't do that, they just they distract themselves. You want to know how they distract themselves? Yeah, they work harder.

SPEAKER_02 45:42

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 45:42

So then they just go backwards by working harder rather than actually listen. And once you listen, you understand what's what's all the friction, what's holding you back, right? Because think of it this way if you want something to go faster, you have a few options, right? You can increase uh fuel, right? You can increase fuel, that can go make it go faster. Okay, you can uh either depending on which direction you're going, if you're going up or down, you can increase or decrease mass. Okay, and you can reduce friction is another way. So what's going on is all those thoughts in your mind is friction towards success. Those people that have those, everyone has them. You have to battle those day in and day out to make decisions, to do behaviors, to have success. So by being aware of all that friction, now you're at least aware. And then it, you know, you could look up our company upgrade, UPGRD.com, and you could see how we could help you release that friction.

SPEAKER_02 46:45

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 46:46

That that would help you go so much faster in everything, is if you no longer had to battle those thoughts or emotions.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

That's amazing. That's amazing. Well, I can uh highly recommend joining Upgrade. Uh, they have a lot of different tiers for people to become uh a part of their their realm, their company and and their group. And uh I know I have I have grown exponentially from it. So thank you, you know, personally to you, Ken, and the upgrade group. Um thank you so much for today. This has been awesome. And I I have a sneaky suspicion we'll probably do this again and maybe dive in a little deeper because I wanted to just wanted to touch the surface and try to help listeners understand where where you are now, what's holding you back, and then something very simple like you just talked about in order to start to move forward and become more aware. I know that one of the biggest changes in life for me was just becoming more present and becoming aware of who I am, what I'm thinking, and and it made massive changes in my life, just that one little piece. So thank you so much. I really appreciate your time, Ken. Um, I know you probably got to get to your five kids, so we will uh let you go, but we really appreciate it. Look forward to having you back on, and uh we'll see you next time. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 48:19

It's my pleasure, Jake. Be happy to be on again.

SPEAKER_02 48:22

Thank you, sir. Thanks for tuning in to the Success Architect. If today's episode helped you lay a stronger foundation for your business or your life, subscribe and share it with someone ready to do the same with theirs. You can follow me, Jake Lewendah, on social for daily tips on health, wealth, and building success at last. Until next time, keep designing, keep building, and keep leveling.